I deleted that blog ;)

From now, it's a new start for this blog.

It's not that i hate to let anyone see my history,

It's just that i feel that you are looking through me.

I feel, unsecured ;]

Anyway, I took away the shoutouts.
Which is the chatbox because I kinda hate it ;)

So yeah, YOU CAN'T COMMENT ANYMORE. BOO. LOL.

Now adays I still am not attending school.

Right now im still thinking whether to attend school or not.

Having alot of considerations in stuffs.

Sorry dy ;)

Even though the one whom should make the most effort in stuff is me.

Yet, You are the one who makes the most effort and nothing changes.

Thanks alot for not giving up but yeah.

I feel so hopeless.

I know im not trying.

But i just can't anymore. Hahahaah.

It's funny how I tells dy things like.

~ Me : Dy , You know it's like what you wrote in facebook. "If you don't help yourself, how can i help you." That's why im saying that, im like i don't know since when that after i fall down, i never stand up again.

Dy : You don't have to stand up. You just have to crawl first. I'm letting you crawl now.

~

Godamn stupid! He sends me laughings like idiot ;)

Thanks for making me lauqh. Accompanies & stuffs.

I don't derserve all this..

Aww! Right now im posting because!

I'm feeling godamn sad.

Reading through phrases and thought about somethings.

I'm scare, im afraid.

Why am i such a coward?

It's like how my teachers keep tellings me,

You let them have it, they have won.

Yeah, They have won, I'm the loser here.

It's like you know yeah.

Some people that fall down, 80% of them have to stand up & will.

While 20% of them will stand up yet failed right.

Then im gonna tell you that's too bad, im inside the 20%.

I have no more will.

I want to try. Seriously, I keep thinking, if anyone knows what im feeling.

I hate those kind of humilation. I can't stand those humilation.

I wants to kill them so much.

I want to kill.

Having the urge to kill.

Having the urge to cut my hands to the max.

I'm not trying to act pathetic here.

I just know that's what i've been feeling.

This world is too unfair to me is it?

Is that way my family is nice to me to returns the fairness?

All of you wants me to fall down after i stand up.

Wants me to cry to the depth of the darkness.

Wants me to fall down and never get up.

You get what you derserve please leave me alone already.

I don't need this kind of memories that hurt so much.

Why? I hate it when i want to forget something and yet i can't.

You seems to hunt me for life forever.

" You need to give your heart some times for it to heal " .

Someone asks me , " but can you ? "

No, i defintely can't.

But i wish i can.

I never wanted to fall and never be able to stand up.

I want to stan..d..u..